Reverse Expression

 In China, people always say “When in Rome, do as The Romans do.” That means wherever you are, follow the local customs. Each country has its own expression. For example, if people go to a temple in Thailand, women cannot wear short skirts. If people go to Japan, they should bow and say hello to others. If people go to India, they should prepare their own napkins and toilet paper. Although there are some things people have a had time accepting, I believe that any way of expression is friendly. I lived in China for about twenty years, and I have been in the United States for almost three years. There are two different cultural between China and America. However, I have had to change my expression because I live in America right now.

I have learned “Hello”, “Sorry”, “ Thank you “and “Excuse me” since I arrived in the U.S. In fact, people do not often say these words in China. Chinese people are very shy, and they are not good at expressing their feeling. In China, when I meet a friend on the street, we look at each other’s eyes and nods. This is one way of the greeting expressions. If I meet a close friend, I do not greet her or him. I ask them directly such as where are they going or what are they doing. In Chinese expressions, if people always say “Hello” or “Sorry”, It means they like a  stranger. However, I live in America, I have learned to say “Hello”, “Sorry” or “Excuse me” all the time. For American people, these expressions mean friendship and polite expression. When people give something to you, you should say “Thank you”. When people bump into someone else, they have to say “ sorry ”. In my country, I may just give them a smile. If people need someone’s help, they have to say “ Excuse me”. In the past, I would say “I want you to help me to do something”.  At first, I thought it was strange, but now it is a normal way of expression. In fact, I still try to use this way of expression with my parents. People not always say “Sorry” and “Thank you” to their parents, but American people will do that.

People try to learn how to say something is easy than they try to do something. When I was young, I knew American people were very enthusiastic. They will give people a kiss and a hug when they have not seen each other for a long time. In the summer vacation of 2017, I went back to China and I saw my best friends. I saw her very excited because I have not seen her for two years. Even though I looked very excited, I did not do any physical expression. We just talked about a lot of things. However, I worked in a restaurant in Chicago and a customer who had not been there for a long time came over to dinner. She looked very excited and gave me a kiss and a hug. Of course, a kiss just means the face touches the face not kiss the face. At first, I strongly resisted this way of expression. Now I understand that the expression of this body is very warm and friendly. It will make people more close to each other, and I try to accept.

In my daily life, I have gradually gotten used to saying “Thank you” or giving a hug to other person, but something that is hard for me in the United States. It is like a culture shock. Chinese people do not show their feelings in front of others, but American people like to show their affection in front of others. If I receive a gift from my Chinese friend, I will never open it in front of her because this is very impolite. I may just say thank you. Although my heart is very excited. It’s very difficult to express I thoughts. We usually hide our way of expression. The way of expression after receiving gifts in the United States is the opposite. I bought a gift from China for my American friend and she opened it and was very excited. Her expression and her movements all showed me that she like this gift very much. I would never show my feeling in my country, but I try to accept it in America.

The way of expression changes with the place. When in Rome, do as Romans do. Say thank you to everyone. Get a kiss or give a hug to everyone. Receive the gift bravely and express your love for gifts. These expressions are different between China and America. There are some way of expressions that I really cannot accept, but I try to learn about their culture and allow it to enter my life in another way of expression.