Respect Everyone

                                                       Respect Everyone

It is common knowledge that the sex of a baby is decided at the moment of the combination of the father’s sperm and mother’s egg. The gender of the child is determined by the father’s sperm. Unfortunately, Chinese people didn’t believe this in old China. In the past, China had cut off the whole country from the outside world. At that time, people didn’t have any contact with other countries and they didn’t have any connection with the new world. In addition, China was a patrilineality throughout the centuries. Therefore, people preferred boys over girls and thought it was the fault of a woman to have a girl. As a girl that was born in the new Chinese society in 1998, my family experienced many effects of this unfair and silly concept.

       The concept of valuing boys over girls had powerfully affected my grandmother’s mind. She lost a healthy relationship with my mom and me because she strongly believed the boy would be the only heir in the family. When I was born, she was mad at my mom because I was a girl. Moreover, she blamed my mom that she didn’t give birth to a boy as our family’s heir. Since I was born, she sacrificed the relationship with her daughter-in-law and her granddaughter, which is me because she thought the girl would just mary in the future and have no contribution to my family. Even though my mom tried to build a healthy relationship with her, she refused to engage with my mom. Moreover, my grandmother and I had a difficult relationship too. She didn’t like me or about me. I couldn’t imagine it would happen, but it exactly happened in my grandmother’s life and my family.

       It is true to say one problem could cause many problems too. The concept of valuing boys over girls did not only affect my grandmother’s mind, it has impacted my parents' life too. First of all, they needed to take care of me and worked so hard for their business that was just getting started at the same time when I was born. Sometimes, they had to balance their time so well to take care of me and their business. During that time, all the daycare centers in my hometown didn’t allow infants to stay in the center yet. In addition, my grandmother didn’t want to take care of me because she believed the concept of valuing boys over girls. Consequently, my parents brought me to work with them in the day. At night, they also needed to take care of me at home. At that time, their lives revolved around me. They didn’t have too much time for themselves.

Even though my parents didn’t value boys over girls, they still had a hard time with their second child. At that time, if one family’s first child was a girl, the woman usually would continue to give birth until she gave the birth to a boy. The concept was really popular in people’s mind at that time, but my parents thought they wanted to treat boys and girls equally. Moreover, I asked my parents to give me more siblings. Consequently, my parents felt guilty about their second child. They didn’t want me to think they didn’t love me anymore. On the other hand, they didn’t want to do the same thing as the people who value boys over girls. Finally, they thought they should do whatever they want. As a result, my sister came to this world, and my parents were thrilled with their brave choice. If the concept of valuing boys over girls was non-existent, my parents' life would have been painless and cheerful.

I believe that there are millions of families that have had similar experiences with my family in China. The ignorance of the people and the backwardness of the country caused people to value boys over girls. I know this concept affected my family really deeply. People should understand and treat everyone equal. All over the world, regardless of gender, age, or background. Everyone has their own values, so people should respect each other.